Lesson Learned
by SJAR-03
Summary: A different take on 3.16. Major Leyton, but sad! one shot


**Just a different take on 3.16. I was inspired tonight! Hope you like it! Leave me a review :)  
**  
Lucas wished he would have known from the moment that he first made eye contact with Peyton Sawyer that he would love her. Then maybe he wouldn't feel so heartbroken and alone right now. If he could go back in time he would have never even kissed her once. Or spoken to her, and even so much as looked at her. Then maybe he wouldn't be standing here in a circle with the people who had meant the most in her life, preparing to spread her ashes.

But he had spoken to her, and he had gotten to know her, and love her. Every time he closed his eyes all he saw was her. He'd dream about her. She was everywhere he looked, and it fucking killed him.

He had a constant aching in his chest, which had begun the minute the doctor told him Peyton was gone.

She had lost too much blood, and wasn't able to be revived.

Lucas had been standing in the Emergency Room when Jimmy Edwards was brought in, which a gunshot wound to the chest. He was critical, and would have died if it hadn't have been for Peyton. He got her heart. Lucas remembered talking to Peyton one day, about being a donor, and they both wondered what it would be like to know that someone else had their heart, or their lungs… He never thought he would know what it was like.

Everyone had been outraged at first, when they learned Jimmy got her heart, and was going to live... and would be going to jail as soon as he was well enough to. Lucas himself had stormed out of the hospital, and finally allowed himself to break down.

Keith was the one that ran after him, and consoled him.

_His knuckles were bleeding as he angrily punched the hospital's brick wall. He continued to do it, until Keith pulled him back.  
"HE CAN'T HAVE HER HEART!" He yelled angrily, sinking to the ground.  
Keith sat in silence for a moment. "I know that it's hard for you to accept. But I think it's what Peyton would have wanted. She'd want to help anyone she could, in anyway. No matter what they've done."  
"I feel like it's my fault Keith. I could have saved her." Tears streaked down his face, but he didn't bother to stop them. It felt good to let them out. "I should have gotten her out of the school the second I found her."  
"You did everything you could, Luke." Keith reassured him. "You were so brave. But you have to keep being brave."  
"I can't. Not without her."  
"I know it hurts right now, but it's going to get easier."_

A week later and it still wasn't easier. He didn't want to see any of his friends. He and Brooke were pretty much over, as it is hard to be with another girl when the love of your life has just died.

But they were all together right now. All of Peyton's friends, her father, Keith and his mom, Whitey, and a few others. They stood together in the field, and watched as Peyton's father opened the urn, and slowly let the ashes be carried away in gusts of wind. Brooke, Nathan, and Haley slowly joined him, and they embraced each other as Peyton's remains went to peace, just as Ellie's had done when Peyton came to this same spot to spread them.

After the ashes were gone everyone had a black balloon. Larry led them in letting them go. Nathan, Haley, and Brooke tearfully let theirs go, and looked to Lucas who still had a tight grip on his. He sighed, and turned to everyone. "I'm sorry. But I can't let it go." He shrugged tearfully. He wanted to be strong but it was too hard. He quickly went to his car, and drove to the River Court.

He sat there, and remembered when he had been in the car accident a few years back, with Keith. People had written really nice things on the River Court for him to see, and it really had meant a lot to him. The biggest thing that stood out in his head though was the flaming heart she drawn.

Thinking about that, Lucas came to realize what he should do with his black balloon. He got back in his car, and drove back to the field. Thankfully, everyone had left. He walked out to where large amounts of flower arrangements lay, for her.

He took out the white marker from his back pocket that he had found in his dashboard, and took the top off. He held the balloon out, and began to write.

When he was done writing he put the marker away and looked at the words for a minute. It read:  
_It's always gonna be there isn't it? You & me._

He smiled. It was perfect. He took a deep breath, and finally let the balloon go. Tears came back, but he felt like they weren't such sad tears. He stood there long after the balloon had vanished from sight, and only turned to go when the sun had disappeared behind the clouds.

Nathan stood by his car, waiting for him. He gave his brother a sad smile.

"You're going to be okay, Luke. You will be." He put a reassuring hand on Lucas's shoulder.

That night when Lucas laid in bed his thoughts were still on her. He fell asleep thinking about the last time he had spoken to her.

_The room was quiet, and it was just Peyton in there. She was lying in the bed, as the ventilator breathed for her. He sat on the edge of the bed, and took her hand.  
"Hey Peyt." He snuffled."I'm sorry I didn't get you out of the school sooner. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I guess in the end, it was you who saved me. My life is never going to be the same again. I'm going to miss you every day single day. I will never ever forget you." He took a deep breath. He took his iPod of his jeans pockets, and put one headphone on, and placed the other in Peyton's ear. He pressed the play button, and Heartbeats by Jose Gonzalez filled both of their ears. Once that was over He listened to as many of their songs as possible._

He stayed with her in the hospital room for a little while longer, until Larry came in to be with his daughter.  
He leaned down, and gave her one last kiss on her forehead, stroking her blonde locks back. "I love you." He whispered into her ear,and leaving.

Was it you who told me once,  
Now looking back it seems surreal,  
That all our mistakes are merely grist for the mill,  
So why is it now after I had my fill,  
Would you steal from me the sorrow that I've earned

- Lesson Learned by Ray Lamontagne


End file.
